I painted my room black when I was 14

I grew up in a family where one could paint their room ANY COLOR !! I had pink rooms and gold ceilings and grey floors and grey enamel walls and turquoise and red..I painted my room black once.. I thought it was so neat... They still tell that story, more like the story of painting over it.Dark colors are tough to cover up..Fresia room was so lovingly painted pink when she was a little baby girl. Pink with cherry trim. She is now a teen and decided to paint it . I think she even suggested black.. HA !!I think I said , " no". She went with a gray , "seal gray". I made her cool black and white paisely curtains. She wants to decorate the walls with record albums..I love this kid ! what a keeper ! I love the way she has her dreams and goes after them in her sweet organized youthful way..

I love rit.com ! It is very satisfying to go to their website, study their formulas, mix, weigh, measure and tada !!


We have a pretty nice lot. When we first got the place we got a great deal on Hibiscus . We planted 28 along the fence line. The years went by and the Morning Glories, Brazilian Peppers and other murderous plants strangled our Hibiscus.. Marshall began his fence maybe 5 years ago..This winter he has tasted victory ! The fence , all 25 sections, is done !!It is so nice to have a little bit of heaven all to ourselves !

The water..I found this little story ,which is true, in my " folder "

We had a little weather . Some warnings , a watch . The frenzy grew amongst the circus . Must get to a shelter . I don't know whose idea it was , but by the time people starting actually going to " the shelter "the worst was over . Marshall secured the music computer and decided to stay on the bandstand . Tavana, Fresia, Arwen ,Carmen and I ended up going into a small building. We told tales of other bits of weather , being on a circus and having weather adventures, and watched the building shake listening to the wind . We found a safe spot and soon the rain and wind eased up . The police kept everyone at the shelter for a while , I am glad we stayed on the lot.


Rigging is up

Always a good time putting up the uprights . I need a little barn for my rigging toys .

Party underground

Nature attacks drain .. We tried our best to fix the wretched thnig . We had to hire our favorite plumbers to grind out the growth . We are putting something like copper phosphate down the hole ..

A story about ten dogs

This is a sweet children's book about ten dogs and a guy named Luciano Anastasini . They all got a second chance . It is a lovely read . It's for anyone who has ever had a dog a or child or have been one !!

it's a jungle out there

coming home to a back yard like this is a big fat drag !! rigging can't go up till we have a yard..Marshall bagged 20 bags of needles, there must have been 20 -10 foot palm frounds, Spanish moss everywhere.. the dogs are going wild !! Spartacus gets lost in the grass, hunting. I hope the mowers come tomorrow . We have to lop off a bunch of Brazilian pepper trees growing in our yard ! We have a plethora of botany here !! The house has some cute , tiny ants..I spent the day armed with paper towels, bleach, lemon oil, sponges and rags . We scrubbed, cut, bagged, did laundry ,..got a little loopy but the first day is always monumental...

on the way home the Scythian gets " a little work done "

The Scythian will be spending her winter break getting some structural body work done .
we love North Dallas rv

508 shows..

those 38 weeks flew by, ..closing day was cool weather . I felt amazing strong and thin . We had been packing and putting a lot of stuff in the pick up and cookhouse had been bumming me out . I was into making pancakes for Fresia, Marshall and anyone who deserved them . I guess I was on the pancake diet . Wow I am a blithering idiot.. Back to closing day , Marshall sounded so great . All the trumpet parts he wrote himself.. he was unamplified but played sweeet and loud ! how nice.. just like the good old days. I am doing trapeze and get to have a look behind me and see/hear him blowing his horn. Fresia was so jazzed about closing day. Mostly she was expecting to have some big emotion. We talked about " how she felt " , she said she didn't feel happy or sad., just strange that she couldn't do " it " tomorrow..I think she was proud , she only missed part of 1 show, when she got whacked in the eyes with a scarf . Marshall , Mike drummer, clown Ryan and Raul were the only people that did not miss a show .

Carolyn's pillow explodes at laundromat

I looked at this mess and said , " my day just got so much better than yours !" to which she replied ," you could always be a shit Sherpa ". " What is a shit Sherpa ?", I asked . She replied, " When you climb Mt. Everest in the Himalayas you need to bring a shit Sherpa with you to carry the shit back down the mountain ." It is like one of those things you have to do if you are going over there. I wonder who has the exclusive on the shit ?

adorable member of the Camelid family

herbivore, good dancer, can navigate on steep rocks , dedicated ...

what is wrong with this photo

the Raptor is always level , today the Raptor sunk in the mud , got stuck and could not get level..how different

24 shows left !

I am so loving every show . When it is not showtime you realize that performing is like watching sand sift between your fingers..all of a sudden there is no more

everyone needs a dog

or something to care for .Having animals in ones life makes us better humans .


well if I had one of these I would be incorrigible

the weather has turned

hot chocolate and pancakes and hot tea and electric heaters and sweaters and layers and long sleeves..we have packed up our flippy floppies.


My pumps are on borrowed time..I have newer ones but they are not so comfy..I can really move in these babies . Yesterday my heel got stuck in the mud AND it wasn't the first time either !! When I was filling in for someone on this very show in '09 or '10, my heel got stuck in the mud..Both times my heel was rescued by Johhny Moss .These pumps have been rolled over and cracked into pieces by some heavy bear props, they have been rebuilt twice.. I am always looking for good pumps.I make my entrance into the circus ring in these pumps, yesterday without a heel was pretty entertaining for those involved..it was kind of cool because it keep me laughing and I didn't thing about the cool air I was performing in..

Dogs on the run

Last night the wind slammed the door open ... I am not naming names .. The dogs had a time . I was rosined up and ready to go on and Cody came and informed me . I ran fast , the trailer door was wide open . Electra was running home and the 2 pups were inside all excited . Carolyn rounded up Spartacus with help from Lamont and Cody . I shut the door and made it back to the tent for the overture ! What amazing people I work with . Last weekend we got a new water heater , the old one (23 years) cracked . Water was water falling out of the back of the trailer . The floor under the tank was gross me out rotted and Fridman replaced it . Also last weekend Sara organized an epic dance party, mirror ball and a dj and drinks and snacks ! We had a blast !! We were all sore from doing some crazy dancing . Lately I have been feeling like a sloth . I miss doing my fabric act , nothing tones your abs like straddle climbs and those brutal drops. I feel like all I do is eat Bon bons all day and then in a sloth like jabba the hut fashion somehow drag myself into the tent . How I pike 16-17 pikes to my trapeze is a mystery.. 71 shows left but whose counting ....

Diamonds are a girls best friend

Or diamond plate is a girls best friend

Tasty bites

One of the foods with dinner yesterday was peppers stuffed with cheese and wrapped with bacon . We went back for seconds .

Loving Frank

Arthur B Heurtly House built in 1902 , Frank Lloyd Wright , architect . If you are in Oak Park, IL you should walk or roll around this neighborhood ! I can't wait to go back .


The Kelly Miller Circus has a library and a librarian . We are a big group of readers . The librarian is Sue H. I was looking for something good to read and Tavana said I must read " Loving Frank ". WOW !, what an amazing book . A big favorite of the kmc readers club . A must read ! I studied architecture once upon a time..sigh. Seeing as how we were in the neighborhood we had to, had to go to Oak Park and see architecture , the Frank Lloyd Wright kind . What a great field trip !! wonderful for the grown ups and such a treat for the youth .I am so inspired ! I can't wait to get home and take out all my architecture books and read them again. I can't wait to get home and work on the planters that are part of the structure of our home . I can't wait to get home and mosiac the exterior of our little stucco house with all the broken china I have been saving all these years ...what a day..what a day and we even get to do two shows

What does this mean ?

I wonder if Stephanie and Keith know about this ?


This morning at the insane hour of 5:30 am as I walked over to my truck I saw the hood was up .. BOO ! My truck was getting minor surgery ,it was puking up spark plugs .I was delayed 1 hour. The journey was 98 miles. I experienced my first weigh station . I don't know what the guy said ,but it ended with " Have a nice day !"

Oscar in his element

What a time we had watching everyone drive on this little piece of mud . We made coffee and sat outside our trailer , laughed , told tales of mud . Only a few got stuck .We are a small mudshow after all .Everyone who works on this sort of show has the proper footwear .


I wanted to pull over and investigate this bridge . I love a good bridge .
If I could have pulled into the parking lot and read the plaque I would have , it was more than a u-turn into the parking lot. This bridge is on highway 12 west of 131 in southern Michigan .


Something about 200 bales of hay ..

Don't fence me in

Last Saturday the lot had a fence . Some of us were parked outside the fence . There was an opening at one end, but climbing fences is fun ! I even had a go at it ! The only shoes that were good for climbing were my character shoes , I very carefully climbed over taking care with my silver dress . Fresia and Fridman won for most climbs . Cookie got a nomination for biggest feet ever ! he was hysterical to watch climb. The cookhouse was on the inside so we passed food over the fence . I think passing food over the fence was more difficult than walking around . What we do for entertainment , last Saturday was fencing .

wardrobe !

There is nothing that gives us all a good laugh like a wardrobe malfunction .Yesterday while I was dancing in the camel dance my snap broke and my dress began to fall off my body . I casually grabbed it an danced out of the tent ! I came inches away from exposing my bosoms !! We were sponsored by a church school also !! So much for being rated G. I told the clowns not to bother performing beause I was impossible to follow, all in good fun ! showbidness, tadaaaaaa

A massive amount of f-bombs

Geo thermal hand digging only ?? I should have known it was going to be one of those electric plugs ripping off , AT&T mifi device going goofy , wild and crazy , shoveling sand against the tide kind of day the moment I saw the geo-thermal sign. F-bombs are welcome in my life today. Marshall says I talk like a sailor .I dropped many f- bombs, I told the AT&T people their wretchedness was putting me over the edge ! There are only so many hours you can spend troubleshooting something junky before you snap like a twig. So many things I want to do in a day , clean my junky trailer, wash my crappy dishes, walk my bratty dogs, fix my pathetic costumes, all to get ready to do my HO HUM act..and today was almost a go do Bikram yoga day ! Instead, in Starbucks watching Fresia do school and listening to a Russian guy swear at his whore of a wife..oh joy , oh rapture..f this, f that

We are in showbidness..act like it

On the first morning on KI, I was doing my tent raising tour and someone comes up to me and asks me to keep my voice down . I turned and who did I spy with my little eye ?, our friend Fletcher ! What are you doing here , I queried .He replied he was on the other side, had a week off, called Armando, got the ok and squeezed on the lot. He was with his cute galfriend .Marshall, Fresia and I worked with Fletcher on some savory and not so savory shows . We had some fun times , did a lot of intense shows, ate a lot of chimichurri . One thing led to another and he worked on this show for the day , he does a tight wire act , he has real skills, he rocked it . Fresia loved his act ! It was fun to have something different in the show . I guess some people were " packed ". blah blah blah. We decorated the backstage notice just cuz . I guess our smackers all over the place packed people even more ! hot damn..we are on a roll.

Snippets from KI , Thank you Neil and wife !!

So yummy ! A delectable flakey bit of heaven with a lemony curd something omg !! Fresia and I attacked this , there was just a smidge left for Marshall . whatever it was, it was lovely

farm food

How incredible a life, that we have the most generous friends that share the fruits of their labor..everyday is a good day. We got to visit with Forrest and Nancy from Circleville on lovely Kelleys Island ! As I was waiting to go to Kelleys Island sitting in the bandwagon sweating and cranky waiting to board the ferry and feeling sorry for myselve as mosquitos made lunch of me and thinking of writing a play and calling it " looking for Godot "..Rambling again !! So there I sit a stressed out mess and finally after an hour or so the ferry man signals me on the ferry . We start to float on Lake Erie , I go to the second level and all my sweat and cranky crazy evaporate into thin air . Absolute proof I am on fire and need the water element to cool me off .

On the way to the next town

> When I was a younger me I remember all the really good dancers studied in Athens or Oberlin, Ohio or North Carolina before making their way to NYC. If their planets were aligned they went to Julliard..WELL I am trying not to be bitter about my maverick existence , however as I drove through the beautiful town of Oberlin I was so envious of any one who had the pleasure and privledge of living there . In the event you get the chance to just look at this pretty town , even if it is only a drive by and be wistful kind of a thing . I implore you to look and see beautiful architecture in the middle of Ohio ! How adorable and brilliant and inspiring . It is uncanny how driving to the next town can make one reevaluate one's life

moving the puzzle

John Moss and family left for 10 days to say good bye and bury his mom .John Moss spoils us all, he makes sure the fan is on me perfectly when I perform trapeze , he goes out of his way to avoid conflict. He is very sensitive to our neurosis . He is very organized. On a show like this there are many elements to consider, the weather, storms, terrain. There are also the other people on the show who are doing their own dance in the time frame . He considers us all.He has an elegant presence. There is also his oldest son Johnny , Johnny is the man backstage ! keeps us mudfree in the mud and dry in the rain..everyone is missing Johnnies quiet perfection . I was almost the ringmaster for this period.. I was freaking out..this show is big and ..unless I have my 20 minutes to get into trapeze mode..scary for me.Very lucky for the show John Kennedy Kane was available . A talented, witty ,booming presence . John Kane aka Eggrole has a comedic 1 man show called " my life in the basement " . We laughed and cried..so funny sometimes sad . It is very brave when someone can expose their soul ! great theater and life story . Some nyc director saw his play and thought he would be brilliant as the ringmaster for Big Apple Circus ..timing is everything. He starts rehearsal in 2 weeks . Marshall and Eggroll met on the Clyde Beatty Cole Brothers Circus in 1978 or 1979 in "the day" of lots of musicians and lots of clowns and lots of showgirls . They both had crushes on the beautiful Dawnita .He has infused us, enlightened us and just doing his job packed some people. It has been a week of memory lane and the beginning of RED ASS DAYS. August is looming, the evil bitch of the circus . Why do people have RED ASSES ? something happens and irks someone so badly that they feel like they have hot coals packed up their asses, hence RED ASS DAYS . We will miss you Eggy and welcome back the Moss Family !

John Ringling North 2

a 4 part series on the Kelly Miller Circus by Lane Talbert

now that I have learned hot to embed videos I can correctly share Lane's storytelling and video interviews. Steve and Ryan

Brian Lehmann

Carolyn R taking a photo with my iphone (because I have lost/trashed camera number 4 )of an award winning photographer taking a photograph of me hanging by face. Pretty intense way to start the day . A team effort ..thanks for the experience

telling tales ! fun with Lane Talbert

I am enthusiastic..

Missing a piece of the puzzle

I suppose one could say the circus is a moving puzzle . Every night we break it into pieces and put it away . The next day we arrive in a new town and we put our puzzle together . The first few times are always made complicated by not seeing the simplicity and the obvious . After a while the pieces fit perfectly .Once in a while we get a different piece , the puzzle is always morphing .

Becky , why are you so broke ?

Well it's like this .. I have a knack for this sort of thing .. I don't pussyfoot around . I spend money like I mean it .
Today it was the sensor , pigtail exhaust assembly .. Made weird smoke BUT most important , Black Beauty couldn't shift very well ... I am so glad there is not Debtors prison , because I would live there . On the bright side I found a Ford dealer that fixed it today by 4.15 !! I only missed the camel dance !

Fresia the circus girl

I live with a circus girl . She is now brushing and saddling llamas, tying slipknots ,presetting her clothes and costumes, hanging out with the animal people on the midway..eeegads !! She likes working with animals..She is even trying out new behaviors with our doggies..that started to happen when she started helping in the dog act . hmm


I didn't know how great a stretch could be !

Bob Cooley and team

once upon a time I was a young dancer I met Bob Cooley. He was one of my dance teachers and I danced in his dance company. If you are a dancer your instrument is you . It is pushed and challenged to the edge of everything known to humanity and beyond..It is your garment , your only garment. I think being a dancer is the noblest of all art forms . We are so fragile, a twisted knee and you are done for. No one can express and communicate with their body like a dancer...it is so fleeting. I suppose some people dream of being some kind of performer and never attain that elusive dream and become old and hateful and dislike joy and youth and everything good. What a ho hum sad time it must be..to never live even the littlest smidge of ones dream..I must be empathetic with such people not judge their fear of flying.. back to Bob Cooley..just google him !! Bob and some friends came to the circus. Their work is this incredible resistance stretching . They stretched some of us on the show . I got a new body for the show.. The next day I was sore in this crazy ass way..Bob and team work with some of the most spectacular athletes on earth. They came to visit me and stretched me and Marshall and others got a stretching treat .They rode elephants and camels and loved the circus..It was wonderful to connect with Bob after such a long time .


Everyday we drive about 50 miles to a new town , all 95 of us . We set up the big top , we take care of the animals , the children each other ( I use we collectively ) we do 2 shows and tear down and drive to the next town the next morning . Somedays we go for a walk to see the town ..

Margy and me

I really should be putting on some make up BUT we just had the greatest visit with my childhood friend Marguerite .I remembered all those great chilhood adventures that you want all children to have !! Margy gave me a haircut (catastrophe !), she brought me to gymnastics, we shared great novels , we danced, we had insane jump rope games, we painted, did calligraphy, had the best lime rickey in the world at the drug store on Thayer Street . I can't summarize my early magical childhood but there was a huge emphasis on the arts HUGE ! how great and important is art on this planet ? without art we are without expression..

Shipmate Ruby called for duty

Shipmate Ruby was called to action . She got a little cranky for a minute because hard work does not agree with her . After she looked at the big picture and thought about things she was very happy that at this moment in time she is , to the naked eye and as far as she knows , healthy .


Nothing brings back family memories more than a cup of joe .ok , maybe I am excluding other things like oysters and swimming and being incredibly hysterical and loud at the dinner table. I am lucky my wonderful family brings me coffee when we are close by ( and the other stuff too)The last week has been filled with family and memories .
How lucky am I to have family and treasure chests full of memories .