sawdust and spangles and dreams

Thursday ALL READY April 30, 2009

Wow time flies when you are having ,fun?

Today was a very long ass drive. Lowish building and ,bonus!! there is sawdust!!!! oh thrill ,oh joy, oh rapture

When you are in Texas you need mosquito repellent, 7 dust ,cowgirl boots, a whip, a gun and you gotta love amazing tex mex eatin'. yee ha giddy up. DQ is even texmex.Once I got pineapple empanadas at a McD's
oh yes and sun block cause I ain't wearin no hat..can't do it- well maybe if I had a horse and a ranch. I do have boots and a big truck, I am halfway there.

Went foraging for above items, The Toy Man needed to stock up on everything so he rode shotgun. We hit the H.E.B, Bells and DQ.

Rigging was a breeze, same as yesterday cables on a beam thing. When I was moving the ladder it sort of slipped off the beam. Popcorn John came to the rescue. We almost dropped the ladder! I screamed like a girl.

The ants are fierce. It is hot humid dripping outside. Mosquitoes mean it, they bite thru black clothing. I am afraid of Swine Flu. I am afraid I will be trapped in Texas.

the pen is mightier than the sword

Dear diary,
well it is still Wednesday I think..
when something happens on a show the everyone bands together. It is good for moral.

Earl Ostroff said to me more than once, "well Rebecca this is a fine kettle of fish you have gotten yourself into, now what are you going to do ?"

For one thing I am going to get some mosquito repellent.We got attacked here in this town wherever we are someplace in texas..swine flu, west nile or tar and feather hmmmm decisions decisions..

April was not supposed to be cruel

Wednesday April 29, 2009

Dear Diary,
I feel like Harriet the Spy when she lost her journal and her friends read it and she hurt their feelings.Feelings are not things you can touch with your hands, but they can be damaged by your actions and your words.Honesty is the best policy but some fleeting insensitive thoughts should be contained in ones mind until they evaporate.Your friends and friendships are important, you want to be supportive and kind, not cruel or hurtful.
Telling people when they piss you off is good.Having people tell you why they are hot at you is even better. We are all going to die and the last thing I want to be remembered as is an asshole.

We have been doing this tour for about 104 days.Today the building was up, down and around this muddy "road".I usually park last ,being non show equipment or animal. I got thru the mud ,pulled out of the way,or so I thought,per usual "I was in the way". I am a bad mind reader, I need to work on my mind reading skills.

The people I troop with are gladiators, artists, human beings. This ain't no candy ass tour and they rise to the challenge every day 2 times a day.

Low building wrapped cables on cross beams.I think I can swing, I'll give it a go.

brick room yoga

Tuesday April 28, 2009

Today was more normal. Sometimes you just have to tell people you love them. Sometimes you just have to say. You can be mad at me, I don't care but I still love you and you are my friend.
I hate conflict. Someone thinks I am on the ear-y, what the f ever, everyone is on the ear-y.Everyone gossips..Especially males

Today we were at "Sarasota West" i.e Kaufman ,TX .Actually Hugo, OK is kind of Sarasota West.There were bunches of circusy type people.Jr. and galpal were here.I saw friends it was sweet.

We performed in a low armory. I have mastered swinging on a 7 foot trapeze, once I did it on a 6 foot trapeze. Anyways I like performing in front of performers it is like a test.

Black beauty got a bath.. I ate smoked oysters. Had a good feeling about everything...sigh


Monday April 27, 2009

Today John Frazier came to visit. I went down memory lane on how great the circus used to be. A live band for one thing.Lot's of animals ,lots of everything.I have known John since 1987 we have worked on many shows.Marshall has known him for longer. He is a showman.He has forgotten more things about showbiz than many know.He has been at the top, the bottom ,in between and the top again.He was the show guy that you could always go to on a show.He helped us fix things, we helped him any way we could.I cry when I think of the past how things were. How things change, how life goes on.

He made me a new ring mat.

I finished my trapeze. It feels strange.It'll do pig, it'll do.

Juliet is working on her 1 arm handstand.

John John Walker helped me set up today. I let him have a turn on the big ladder.
However I tore down by myself.

I have done something horrible and some people are not talking to me. I wonder what I have done.

I am just trying to do great...........

how low can I go ??

pretty low today Sunday April 26, 2009 AND my feet are off the floor !!

the armadillo carcass is blog worthy

tonight we drive to Texas

very low! I used orange a frame ladder and gaffed my trapeze even more

think Gene Mendez and wear lots of blue eyeshadow

very very very low

Saturday April 25, 2009

It was so marvelous to drive Black Beauty towing the Scythian.

This building is low.

Hot, humid delicious weather for me.

I said to a friend who is on another show, "I love breaking down in the mountains of Virginia they have the best mechanics". We both laughed like hyennas over that comment. It's true, mountains bring out the worst in a vehicle esp a Ford 6.0.


Friday March 25, 2009
Last night I drove to a bed n breakfast .It was a big house with beautiful rooms.
I woke up, got Black Beauty , drove to the lot , set up on angled beams a little crooked. The man had assembled the ladder of death.
I got a text from my great friends Natalie , Casey, Georgia and new baby Genevieve they were on their way en route to the mighty KM circus. I cut up watermelon ,made black spaghetti and shrimp.Knowing they were coming totally revived me. We had an excellent visit.We told stories, some of us drank alcoholic beverages. I held the beautiful baby girl Genevieve. Casey and I made a prank call to a famous tiger trainer. Casey single handidly moved the ladder of death ,he was kind of my balloon assistant and helped me hook up. Natalie is amazing , she had a baby on Sunday and is driving back to the show 5 days later. I got to see their tigers. I admired their trailer.We told stories and reminisced
In conclusion a good time was had by all.

a barn with dirt

Thursday April 23, 2009

Toto , I don't think we are in Kansas anymore....

After much hysteria and finally talking to the general manager of my Ford Dealer, that's Sarasota Ford ..Fidelity is covering the job !!!!! Including loaner $3000.00

Yaya yayayayayayayayayaayaayayay!!!yee ha giddyup!
Fuengirola here I come!!!

Today a barn with a dirt floor. The irony is I must wash my golden tresses..hmm that's why some people wear wigs.You can have icky hair and cover it with a beautiful wig. However nothing looks worse than a wig doing a pirouette off your head while performing.

Black Beauty will be finished tonight!!

After the show I drive and get her and drop off the rental. A 320 mile journey . I suspect I will be sleeping in a vehicle tonight.

on second thought

Fe suggested I drive to the dealer tonight, sleep there and she and E will take my truck for me early tomorrow to the next town. sooooooooooo all I have to do is drive 160 miles tonight, sleep in my truck (which is very glamourous) and when I wake up tomorrow drive to the new town. That makes sense. That way I don't have to drive till 3 or 4 am tonight..Maybe I will get a hotel even!! now that is glamourous

low buiding,barn ,hot, hot ,hot...spansets

tuck and roll

it is Wednesday night wine time............
well my buddy Joe S aka the toy man asked me r.e. the truck.. I ranted maybe cried and he listened..that is a friend.
Fe and E will tow the Scythian one mo time soo I asked Lucho if he would help me hook up the truck .. he totally hooked it up for me.. that is a friend.
Last night Dallas came over and tweezed my brows that is a friend.
Tours like this bring out the generosity and the selfishness of everyone

The building guy was creepily helping me and following me around.. oooo nasty..lock trailer !!!

sooo today first show. I was a little too enthusiastic with my final drop..I did a forward roll into a straddle..The toy man said I hit my head and then my easter keg(bootie) but .5" from the ground I did a forward roll..tuck and roll so my finished position was sittin on my tush legs in a straddle going TADA, I mean Ta f-ing Da!!
and I thank the man for the amazing very thick carpet we have! what great padding.

Black Beauty is in Surgery

Wednesday April 22, 2009

Fortunately Black Beauty is in surgery.
Unfortunately the warranty company is declining the claim.
Fortunately she will be better tomorrow.
Unfortunately it is the money I was hoping to spend going to Fuengirola to see some bullfighting, the money that I only have 1/3 of.
On days like today I get a little hysterical and my dear diary if it wasn't for you I would really be alone.
The other day I said to Dallas and Delilah "I am rather pathetic I have my laptop and my wine" of course they tried to top me.. but my life sucks the most.......
I wonder why I am doing trapeze and fabric and hanging by my teeth.
A) it is extremely wonderful and satisfying
B) the rigging stuff is hard, dangerous, challenging
C)I feel like the greenbacks go to the auto industry
D) I am over being without my little family, when I look at Fresia's sweet face everything makes sense.However I have not seen her little face since January 14

Anyhoo I called my Ford people and said "Hey they said I had the silver policy but you said I had the gold" Fidelity said, " have your Ford call us and they can tell us what you have" maybe good will triumph over evil

I am waiting waiting waiting for what? I am waiting for Godot

Rigging today span sets, shackles etc. double ladder, nicely done..slightly gaffed trapeze BUT I am off the ground.

It is amazingly hot and there is green and blooming buds of life around me.

My very good friends got happily ever after for L & H

I am making a tutu for the Clown

Tuesday April 21, 2009

Black Beauty has been diagnosed. Her sickness is a high pressure oil pump. The warranty inspector has to check it out in person tomorrow and decide if that is what it is ? They do this for very expensive things. I could buy a car for the amount of this I wait .

Fortunately E and Fee are towing me with their truck "the grey ghost" and I
have a loaner "the blue bunny". I am trying to name all the trucks.
The White Night
Old Yeller
Silver Shadow or hi ho Silver
Darth Vader
The Dark Knight
his minions ha ha ha I am still working on it with MD

spansets wrapped very low almost kicked the heating thing wheee ..stiff bad biz


Monday pm

I like teardown. It is the punctuation mark of the day.

Instead of ladder on a table I placed the ladder on the low part of the beam.and ninjaed my way to the trapeze area. It looks like nothing but it was intense and cool and ouchy on the behind.

Black Beauty

Monday April 20, 2009

Black Beauty is sick. She didn't want to go to the next town.

I used AAA and towed everything to the town and she is still at the Doctor's being diagnosed.

I went to town did my dainties and ate an amazing salad with tenderloin steak at Molly's Restaurant and Catering EXCELLENT.

Oh yeah ladder on a table , span sets choked on a beam.

Tomorrow FI and E will tow the Scythian, I will drive the loaner....

I hope my warranty covers everything....

21 pikes to my trapeze

after the show

So it took me 21 pikes to my trapeze the second show..maybe I need Wheaties.

I took a picture with the Mayor.

Ladder on a genie leaning on a beam all by my self up there ladder was a tight fit and I suppose I was wondering how the heck am I going to do this??

I really did almost kick the metal ceiling.. that would have left a mark.

After the show us "foodies" went for Thai food. I had this tiger steak stuff with amazing spicey sauce. We all shared everything. Lot's of eeeem , yuuummmmms..we sounded like Elaine and Emily estatic about food...very tasty

In Cold Blood

Sunday April 19, 2009

Dear Diary ,
Today we are in Kansas. We drove 162 miles south.

An old friend Jerry Collins who was the jailer Kansas/Lansing State Penitentiary is here. He walked Perry Smith to his execution. The mayor is here as well he took Perry's eyeballs to be transplanted to a little blind girl. The crime was in 1959, the execution in 1965.

Jerry's girl friend made a strawberry pie !!

I am extremely high !! I did a 2 and 1/2 on fabric!!

Set up was a trip!!

Juliet makes tree art

still Saturday in between shows, during shows , warming up ,playing in the backstage hallway with my friends Juliet,Athena and Lucho


Saturday April 19, 2009

geez louise how much more of these low buildings can I take !!!what do they expect me to pull out of a hat today.. I will attempt to swing..just cuz..very frustrating ..yesterday was high enough to do a 2.5 on the fab..the people love was sooo fast.after you do that trick- cute and charming wins the race.. I didn't even have to point my feet..I had so much fun..

After the show we had b-day fun for Dallas..there was alcohol, guacomole and dulce le leche cake that must have weighed 50 lbs. They begged me to try a shot drink thing "a jagger bomb" what a kiddy drink. gross tooo sweet..a gin martini or a real glass of wine anyday. I consume good grownup things.I can be such an ass, it's just that I am old and can't handle sweetness

If we don't travel tonight I am making oxtail soup ,finishing my new trapeze and chomping down on my new mouthpiece leather.

tada girls

the and-or sisters are all fabulous tada girls. I ain't bragging, just stating the facts. To tada your legs have to be just so , one bent one straight, only true tada girls know where to put their arms! you can tada on escalators, in airports anywhere, is a fact entire acts have been made on tada ability

if this ain't a masterpiece

got up , got out of a bed, dragged a comb across my head

then drove 162 miles.

made a beautiful ladder-o-death with my new faboo ratchet straps and set up on huge beams ,huge I tell you, wooden ones!

a sad day

Friday March 17, 2009

Tim Holst died in Brazil yesterday
In 1987 Tim Holst ,talent scout for Ringling, gave me a ride from Bunni Bartok's house in Sarasota to Tampa to audition for RBBB. The audition was awesome. The dance captain taught me the choreography for both shows. We had a great day. Unfortunately the show that needed dancers had stopped doing the amazing aerial ballet( a lot of women on web in the air) and that is what I lived for. I had to say, "no thank you" to Tim and Charley . I went on to a small show where I danced, did a little choreography, practiced trapeze, ended up on an ice show for the same company and performed my trapeze in December 1987.

I saw Tim somewhere every year and he remembered me and was charming.

He will be missed by many. Many of us have a story of Tim.

1 green ladder, 4 purple spansets

Thursday still

Beams still very low..I am taking a nap..I am sore from all that wine and cheesecake.

I am going to teach Juliet how to chain and weave gimp.

another day another lesson

Thursday April 16, 2009

Yesterday was umm hmmm what can I say..long, painful, frustrating, scary,wonderful, shitty, horrifying, satisfying..
Brought in poles.Assembled poles.
Man suggesting hanging, made a super ladder of death. Man threw string rope tape thing over piece of metal thing.
Hung my rigging.
disassembled poles and carried them back to the Scythian.
Got taken out for Chinese by a visiting friend.
opened awning on trailer yayayayayay!!
Did shows, decided I would never hang like this again.
Tore down.
Drank wine.
Ate cheesecake,
got up

going south

this is what I think

There are no "bad audiences" only bad performance. I will not walk around and not be my happyesque self!! My self is also the person who is performing. Everyone was saying what a "bad audience" it was. Screw that way of thinking!! make the audience entertained!! that is our job! we are in show business!! Success!! An entertainer entertains, doesn't bore
The end

A warm day

Tuesday April 14, 2009

Today will be 65f. Today there is a genie. Today is good. I am going to stop acting so "happy", apparently it pisses people off. Ain't that a laugh.
So I hang my stuff, the man says "does that go higher?". I say,"sure" and gaff my jacked trapeze.It was lower than I thought, however I did ask the guys on the ground if it was high enough and they said ,"yes".I can't always tell how high or low I am when I am on the ceiling looking down.


ice skater,me,Marcella Weber,dancer,Lisa DuFresne,Debbie Wallenda holding Aerial,ice skater annnd Marcie Begary who inspired me to do trapeze for cash

note, this is not Meg's Aerial.

Meg's charmed life

Monday April 13, 2009

Yesterday was off, because it was Easter Sunday. Meg and her daughter, Aerial my very good friends came to the show on Saturday.They had been up since 4am and had just flown in from Quebec and then drove 140 miles, watched the show ,ate circus food AND helped me tear down !! Extremely good friends! I would do the same for them. After the show I hightailed it to their splendid house, for 36 hours I had an amazing jam packed time.Sauna, jacuzzi, fire pit, wine time, sitting with these hot bean bag things on my sore parts,doing Easter Sunday with their very large, talented and complex family . Meg has 7 sisters and 1 brother.We watched the kids hunt for eggs on this amazing path, ate quiche and potato things and ham and deserts and this cool layered jello thing and drank savignon blanc.
Meg and I have been friends since April 1986, we met at Bob Snowden's Shrine Circus in Manchester, NH. We started training, eating popcorn, drinking wine, and have been great friends ever since. She has a charmed life I have decided. She works her ass off and makes her spaces amazing.We always inspire each other.She is married to the funniest guy in showbiz.

This morning I woke up did a kick ass jacuzzi and drove 90 miles to a pretty easy set up. This building is a little higher so I can swing..yay yay yay

outside art

still saturday

Swingset it is a little under 17 feet.extremely light ,20 minute set up.

The people are decorating eggs for the big hunt tomorrow.